


Disparate abode

by meinu



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Oh, References to Depression, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Violence, i'm maybe missing a tag or two but oh well enjoy!!, just a whole lotta gay tbh, juuu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 10:52:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16084640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meinu/pseuds/meinu
Summary: "She had the biggest crush on Roan. I thought they would end up together, but Roan was more concerned with training me and trying to get me out of there, believe it or not, and so.. They.. Never happened."Clarke's eyebrows furrow, "Why are you telling me this?""Because life is short."





	Disparate abode

She remembers the way the grass smelled the first time she stepped in it, even days ago. The way the wind felt and shifted differently against her skin, causing goosebumps to run along self-tanned skin; it all felt different, being inside of the only green place in the world. She didn't know how to react, and the first night she was there, it rained and she swore that it felt like an experience with God, an experience with the past Commanders and the new -- a Commander, she'd almost forgotten all about that in the midst of the rain trickling down her skin.

She remembers taking her clothes off. Starting with her corset, she took her shirt off, her pants followed and so did her underwear; standing naked, a grin settled on her face. It felt miraculous, as if she had no type of worries in the world and as if the death wave had never previously washed over her and left her struggling with sand inhaled in her lungs. Braids undone, she takes in every little bit of it in.

It isn't until someone she'd never expect to make it out alive steps into the valley that she began to think it to be tainted; she never expected Clarke Griffin to appear.

"Ontari?" Clarke gasps, "You're alive?"

"How are you alive?" She bares her teeth like a wounded animal, "You should have died, along with the rest of Skaikru!"

"No, we made it out." Clarke has her hands raised, ever so slightly. "Didn't you hear about the Conclave? Echo said she told you."

"Yes, but I didn't think that would survive."

"I don't know if we did."

"You just said-"

"I know what I said, I'm being hopeful." Clarke swallows, "And... Seven others made it out, but I don't know if they're alive either."

"Who?" Ontari relaxes, curiosity taking form.

"Murphy for one." Clarke begins, "Harper, Monty, Raven. Echo, and Emori, too. And... Bellamy."

"So, the freikdreina made it out, too?" Ontari scoffs, "I would've abandoned her."

Clarke's jaw tightens, a sign of discomfort; Ontari knows it all too well, the way Nia would frame her face with it whenever she was unable to preform a task that suited the Queen to her liking. It was often not keeping up in combat when she was younger, or unable to keep her mouth shut -- she had to learn, both the easy and hard way of things. Despite being a faux Princess, Ontari was once ripped from a loving home and was destined to have blood on her hands from birth.

"What are you doing here?" The former faux Commander asks.

"I was looking for shelter." Clarke begins, "I've been... Out in the desert for longer than I can take. All I want, is this valley. We can share it."

"No." Ontari snaps.

"What? Why?"

"Because, Skaikru has only ever took things from us. You take, and take. This is my mine -- I found it first, so I'm claiming it."

"Ontari, I won't survive."

"Good."

Clarke's eyes, wounded and hurt. She's taken aback, and tears begin to brim her eyes. "I've lost everyone, please."

"I've lost people, too." Ontari scowls, "You're not special, Wanheda."

"We can share this!" Clarke snaps, "I don't want to be Wanheda anymore. You don't even have people to command over, so you wouldn't be the Commander. We can start over... By sharing, and getting along."

"No."

"What exactly do you think we took?!"

"Our homes!" Ontari steps forward. "You landed here, and you started a war. You came into our territory, and you killed Trikru warriors who had families and homes."

"You don't even care about Trikru." Clarke interrupts.

"I don't care. They were my people, people I was meant to rule over. You took that from me as well, because of what? Your stupid love for Lexa." Ontari scoffs, her head shaking in clear disbelief and ire. "Hodnes laik kwelnes, Klark. Hon in dei de auda yu melon."

"Ontari, please."

"You also took my blood with promises you did not intend to keep." Ontari goes on, "You destroyed our clans and killed many of our own all in favor of yours. I don't want to hear about how innocent you are. You can live in the sand, while I live here."

"You gave up your blood willingly."

"I gave you that transfusion to save myself!" Ontari snaps, "I thought it was going to save  _me_! Like you promised, but it didn't. I had to run before my own clan could come and kill me, and I had to live in the woods where no one thought to look for me. I had to watch the animals slowly die and starve because of it, I had to endure sand in my throat and infections on my skin. You took everything from me!" 

She lunges.

Clarke remembers the first time they'd run into each other; Ontari's quick to pounce onto her, table slammed into her lower back with a wounded gasp upon her tongue. She remembers the second time they ran into each other; Lexa's memorial, where Ontari recognizes her and pounces onto her once more -- shoving people aside, Aden included, and wanting to tear her throat open. This is no different, the way Ontari pounces as she always does. Quick, as if she's unable to be caught and half cheetah, they hit the floor and Wanheda embraces the cold metal of a knife against her throat.

Swallowing, Clarke lets out a sigh.

"I should have killed you a long time ago."

"Then do it!" Clarke gasps out, "Then do it."

Tears sliding down her cheeks, there's something familiar in the way Clarke breaks down; silently and without meaning to. Ontari presses the knife more, not puncturing the skin but enough to threaten her even more -- she hopes the mighty Wanheda will crumble under her fingertips, hoping that she can get her to beg and then maybe, just maybe, she'll agree to a truce; but it doesn't come, not in the fashion Ontari wants it and maybe never, ever. She realizes that in the world, they may be the only two left alive without knowing if Skaikru survived, or if her people survived. There's something sticking to her gut that makes Ontari hesitate.

That's when Clarke looks over and her eyes widen, causing Ontari to look.

A little girl, ragged hair with knots upon knots; her skin, dirtied and dusty. Clothes tattered, ripped, and stained with mud and potential blood. The both of them stare at her, and when the little girl realizes she's been spotted; she takes off like a lightning bolt, causing Ontari to take off after her, and soon enough, Clarke. The two chase after her, and Ontari is the one left taking care of Clarke's ankle when she's attacked.

There was just something about the way the world managed to carry itself, how it stayed align.

"You can stay here." Ontari says, later on. Taking care of Clarke's ankle by the river bank and following orders. She doesn't know why, even herself, she decided to stay behind and take care of the wounded Clarke. "You can stay, but we do very little in seeing each other. Promise?"

Clarke looks at her with widened eyes, surprise features. "Yes. I promise."

Eventually, the little girl is coaxed out of her hiding spot by both of the other Natblida's and that's Ontari's cue to disappear off into the shadows as she normally does. A ghost in their natural habitat, Clarke thought at one point; she's told stories, including the faux Commander, to her newly adoptive daughter and it takes Madi a while to learn more about Ontari through the woman herself, but it's happened. Down the line, a year after the incident when Ontari finally emerges for more than a couple of minutes. She's like a fox, Madi once thought, and that's how Clarke once described her, as well.

Ontari approaches Clarke one night, after Madi's long laid her head down.

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to negotiate." Ontari begins, "We share the valley, but no restrictions."

"Why?" Clarke rises from beside the fire.

Ontari looks at the newly reformed Wanheda, how the fire of her dances behind her silhouette and there's something about her -- maybe it's the feeling of having lost everyone in the world, but Ontari begins feeling melancholy and nostalgic, for the feeling of comfort and human emotion of anything other than ire. With Roan, she felt familial love. Perhaps even romantic, she'd even admit to having a few sexual desires regarding her supposed adoptive brother. With Echo, she misses her best friend in more ways than one and even Queen Nia, she's glad to be free but misses the reign of abuse and cruel intentions.

"Just because." And she leaves.

Ontari visits more and more, Clarke begins getting used to the idea of having her around. Madi, skeptical, also warms up to the idea.

Three years down the line after the death wave, Ontari's practically living next to them and is more inclined to teach Madi of their ways; how Natblida's are trained, taught, and the stories of everything -- she's not a Flamekeeper, but doing so is allowing Ontari to live in the past, back when everything was fine in such ways and allow her to remember her friends, family. Remember Roan and Echo, wherever they ended up. She uses the moves Roan had once taught her, and Madi learns every day in more ways than one -- she learns of the ways Clarke and Ontari grew up, and how different they were with the ground and space around them.

It's one of the days that Clarke and Ontari are left alone, once again. Fire sparking and crackling beside them, Ontari's doing nothing but glancing up at the stars with millions of things on her mind but she counts every start she can, one of which are twinkling brighter than the last; it keeps her focused, keeping her on the ground and instead of thinking of the fact that she has yet to properly grieve, properly allowed herself to channel her emotions about Roan's death and the loss of her best friend. It's strange, Clarke thinks, seeing how very little such as death regarding families and friends affects Ontari.

When Jake died, Clarke was depressed for several days, even several months and even to this day, she misses her dad. She misses her mother, and hopes that her mom didn't face the same type of fate as her dad -- she misses her friends, Murphy included, and hopes they're all safe up in space. She misses everyone, but seeing Ontari's harden shell unable to move outside of the fact that her family is dead and her clan has since disowned her and channel no emotion instead of even one confuses her -- everyone has their own way of grieving, she thinks.

"Clarke." Ontari says, finally.

"Yes?" Clarke looks over at her.

"Do you think your friends are alive?"

"I hope so." Her voice is tight in her reply, "I'd like to think that they are."

"When I was younger, I was taught to pretend to be their adoptive Princess since no one was allowed to know I was a Natblida. I was told to act proper and royal, when Nia had other motives for me. At one point, I met Echo." Ontari takes a breath, "She had started out as an assassin, and Nia hired her to deal with someone, so Echo was in and out of the palace with new information, or to tell Nia that she had taken care of the person; she had the biggest crush on Roan. I thought they would end up together, but Roan was more concerned with training me and trying to get me out of there, believe it or not, and so.. They.. Never happened."

Clarke's eyebrows furrow, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because life is short." Ontari's head moves, slowly and precisely. "To not tell the people you love that you love them."

Their eyes meet for a brief moment. Ontari, quick as always, moves forward and Clarke is surprised when it's not met with something as lethal as an attack but more softly and genuine as their lips meeting together; she's taken aback, but the way Ontari's beauty illuminates against the firelight makes her slowly and all too suddenly realize that  _she's right_ and her eyes flutter close, lips returning the kiss.

* * *

It's unexpected, perhaps. Somewhere along the lines of enemies becoming friends to becoming lovers.

Ontari and Madi stayed behind while Clarke, tortured and kidnapped, was held against Colonel Diyoza's command. And once again, in the first time of a long time, Ontari felt ire that she'd missed; ire that kept her alive all those years ago. It was no surprise that she was willing to up and kill anyone. She knows that Lexa will always be Clarke's true love, but she's not looking to replace Lexa in any way, not even as a Commander -- which is something she'd forgotten about being, she was more focused on Madi taking that role, whereas it scared Clarke to no ends. It was an argument they'd always had.

It was unexpected, especially to every grounder watching when the three were reunited.

Murphy made jokes all through the ride up until he had to be left behind, about how Ontari would step out of the car and any or every grounder will be fixated on killing her. Ontari didn't care. He even made remarks that Clarke wouldn't be happy to see her, but Ontari and Madi both knew to keep their mouths shut in response to that -- it wasn't worth the fatigue that'd follow trying to explain that Ontari  _changed_.

The sand is an all too familiar feeling against her shoes, how they'd stayed up for days to trace the wind patterns and hours, minutes, down to the seconds of when to avoid the travel. It was familiar, in such a way that Ontari wanted out of it the second the Rover had drove across its banks; but it was for Clarke, she thought. And that alone was worth it. Nothing would ever be too uncomfortable for her to cross.

The Grounders, armed with guns, raise onto the oncoming vehicle. More that Ontari recognize as previous Azgeda guards move onto her when she steps out, and she can see the oncoming anger that's taken over their eyes when she moves alongside the sand. Madi takes off before Ontari does, and Clarke is reunited with  ~~her~~   _their_ daughter. Arms wrapped around her in such a tight manner, the two can barely breathe over their way of hugging and Ontari's stomach does flips when she sees the smile stretched across her lover's features; it makes her happy, causing a smile of her own.

That's when she breaks into a run, Echo following beside her.

Ontari's feet burying themselves into the sand when she makes a sudden stop; Madi and Clarke pull her into a gigantic hug where the three of them are unable to breathe, unable to untangle themselves in a loving fashion. Confusion is what settles in the air, and Ontari is quick to read it -- she doesn't care, especially not when Madi breaks from their hug and allows her two parental figures to reunite in their own fashion, and Ontari especially doesn't care with the many surprised looks when she gives Clarke a kiss. It's full of desperation and hunger on her side, she missed the feeling of Clarke's skin against her own.

They pull apart, and that's when Ontari's fingers dance alongside the discoloration of Clarke's neck, no doubt because of Diyoza. The everlasting ire begins to feed on her gut, but it's Clarke's gentle touch of her own fingertips that causes the former Natblida to calm down in ways she didn't know she would ever be possible. "It's okay," Clarke whispers to her in a tone that's soft and saccharine, something sickly that Ontari would've once been disgusted over but now enjoys every little bit of it.

Ontari would repeat it; over, and over, and over, and over.

_Clarke is her home, now._

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, my name is Alice and I'm low-key in love with the idea of Clarke and Ontari being girlfriends, not gonna lie. Anyways! This was my version of how Clarke and Ontari, in my opinion, would've acted were Ontari still alive in season five, and while I didn't cover everything, I covered the "major" parts. So, I hoped that you enjoyed! Don't forget to leave any comments, especially regarding criticism, and kudos if you enjoyed it!
> 
> Trigedasleng used:  
> Hodness laik kwelness (Love is weakness)  
> Hon in dei de auda yu melon (Get it through your head)


End file.
